when u love someone
it doesnt mean u need to own that person

when u love someone
is the same as you are willing to sacrify
no matter what

when u love someone
you think for their long term not short term happiness

when u love someone
you also learn to love the people that the person's love

when u love someone
you accept in whatever condition the person at

when u love someone
it's a blessing, that u are someone who are full of love

when u love someone
you will not stop continuily pray for them

when u love someone
God knows

when u love someone
it will stay with you even when you close your eyes

when u love someone
no one could take it nor change it

just keep loving you
is the way i pass my day

when i invest in my lisptic and mascara
they makes me feel good, without even wearing them
when i invest in saloon and massage theraphy
it makes me feel i am worth the treat
when i let myself pampered with spa
i love me, me love i
when i take care of my little nails
it makes me feel like a queen

when i read my fairy tales book
i entered into a new painless world
when i look into a painting
i am shallow into the image itself

but when i am thinking of someone
it hurts me so much

little happiness is expensive
huge happiness is expensive
little happiness is riskfree
huge happiness is risky
little happiness is short term effect
huge happiness is long term effect to infinity
little happiness is sprinkle itself
huge happiness is spreading like virus

since i am young, i always waiting for the huge happiness
and still waiting.. and waiting..
i am 1/4 of my life
it occured at short period and dies off
i am waiting for another spring
i am still waiting

i carry my wrecked heart around
looking for someone who would have mercy
and maybe they would spare me some
to fill me

all i have has been squeeze out dry
everyone is busy finding the little dew
left by the moon last night
would you spare me some

my steps has been slow down after thousand miles
you have empty seats on your car
fill with dust
would you spare me that space

was i lack on what i have
or i want more than i should

To be honest,

I am far away in spiritual life that I used to have

and I feel myself

becoming something I dont recognize

I took alot of things for granted

and follow what others do

even when it is wrong

just so that they wont laugh at you

just to be in their circle

I didnt realise it

until today

I seemed to break too many rules

cheating in my games

and I thought it was fun

Until I realise

everything seems so wrong

SO WRONG

in my words

in my actions

and even in my thought

I am glad at least I feel sinful

for doing what is wrong

maybe its time for me to slow down

think back

being fun.. doesn't mean to be what others did

Its time

to bring back myself

to be who I am

I am sorry to myself

to ruin who I am

"Karena itu, perhatikanlah dengan saksama, bagaimana kamu hidup, janganlah seperti orang bebal, tetapi seperti orang arif" - Efesus 5:15